I have not eaten processed sugar in weeks and haven’t spent a dollar in days. What does that say about me? It says that I have not eaten processed sugar in weeks and haven’t spent a dollar in days.

The fact that I prefer to do yoga, go to the gym, eat healthy, etc., should not be something that defines me. I understand that we are all passionate about certain things in life, but if you find yourself being called the guy who likes this or the girl who does that then you might have to re-evaluate yourself and the relationships you have with others.

To be well-rounded is a lost art.  It seems that many no longer care about the 360 degrees of the self; they only care about the 180 degrees that are immediately visible.  No wonder many people have difficulty keeping relationships. When what you see is not what you get, both parties call it quits.

You must aim to be the person that is difficult to buy a gift for. This means that you are not obsessed with anything and you do not allow shallow interests or opinions define you. Before your favorite music, television show, eating habits, favorite color, etc., there are other things that make you who you are, such as your integrity (or lack thereof), your energy, the way you make others feel and how much respect you have for yourself and others.

Who you are is important. This is what makes every living breathing thing interesting. Your preferences, while important because they represent your values and guide some of your actions, are not as significant.  Being the girl who does this or the guy who likes that is as shallow as being the person whose only redeeming quality is their looks. And I know what many people might say, “but hobbies and vanity are not the same thing.” If you look at the time, money and selfies most people use in order to be viewed as beautiful by the outside world, you will be able see the similarity. Yes, it is the same thing.  Being known for one thing and one thing only by those close to you is shallow, obsessive, and implies that you are living for others.  It is understandable that your online friends only know you for specific things, but for those closest to you to know you only for your job, workout method or the type of car you drive is superficial.

Getting to know someone who uses their obsessions to define them instead of pure human connection is like walking on muddy shallow water.  It will take you longer to figure out that there is nothing there, but once you step in you are able to see how shallow the water is. Sometimes the water may be so muddy that others are afraid to dive in all together. When  you use illusions to hide the qualities that make you human, it is difficult for others to get close. For the few that do become close, it does not take long for them to feel as If they’ve been deceived.

So the next time someone tells you they don’t know what to get for you, take that as a good sign.