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Personal Growth Demands to be Felt…


The reality of my dream

I have a dream world. I have mentioned this before. I’ve lived in this world for years now. When my dream world first came into existence I was about 14 years old. I live in the dream world about 10 days out of the year at night when I go to sleep. Naturally the events that occur within a month in my waking life take a year in dreams. However, the people in my dream world know that I have a waking life. They watch me age, transform and miss me when I am not there. These people are versions of me and I have no choice, but to love them dearly.

The first dream I had I was in a small world. This small planet only had a few buildings and locations. It was about the size of Manhattan. These locations where I spent my time in were my lavish 3 bedroom home with a rooftop balcony, a school and a graveyard. Some of my dreams were lovely. It was just me sitting in my home enjoying the view of my round little green planet while escaping with my friends. Some dreams were downright crazy with me and a few kids (who only existed in my dream world) roaming around the graveyard and falling through hills of ice and sleet. Then there was one dream that made me realize the world I was in. Up until this one dream I was not aware of this other world. I just thought that I was dreaming. Until this one dream I did not realize that I was in fact living a double life that only excised ten days out of the year.

This was the dream that woke me up to the reality of my dreams. I came home to find my family had moved in. These people that I have been trying to keep out for so long have made their way into my world. This home was built inside my mind in order to escape them. However they were inside and the place was a mess. I saw tacky furniture and hoarder living conditions. When I looked at my dad he responded with, “what? You haven’t been here in a while.” At that point I felt the house begin to shake as I searched all over the house with any sign of the home that once stood there months ago. But there was no sign of that. There was no sign of me. Instead it was rubble; the mess I lived in the real world has made its way into my dreams. At that moment I woke up.
The next dream in this world was a week later. I was living there with my family and as I was using the bathroom, the house again began to shake and now it was flooding. My home turned into a ship as we sailed away from the storm that flooded my tinny 360 degree world. I saw whales and sharks in the dark blue night. It was frightening, yet beautiful. Then I woke up.

Another week had passed and this time I was in a railroad cart along with other people of whom I recognized from my now destroyed little world. My family was no longer there. I was relieved to say the least, but the journey was not over. I arrived at what seemed to be a different version of New York. This version was not safe or comfortable, but I had no choice as my tinny little world flooded.

Now all my dreams somehow revolve around these broken down tracks where I run off to have secret meetings. The first time I was in this new place I was afraid and running from my new neighbors who happen to be demons. But now when I am there these demons are my friends. These demons must be me. There is a level of comfort and safety that I feel now that even in my previous little world I must admit I never had. I pass by broken down baby carriages filled with gold jewelry and I feel safe.

The reality of my dream is that I have once again moved. There seems to be another world inside my world and I am not sure whether the expansion of this is good or bad in the long term, but for now this is the only place that I feel safe

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