comments 5

Language Barrier

I have fared the best out of the group
Although I went through the most
I got away with the least amount of scars
I remind myself of this every time I find it hard to connect
When I wonder why the majority of people I will know for years
I always feel new around
Not because I don’t care enough to ask
It seems I just don’t ask the right questions
In our culture it takes so long to get to the nitty gritty
And since that is most of what I know
There is not much else in me to ask

Some people get scared
some feel personally attacked
I feel personally attacked by those that feel that way
To them I am darkening the world they’ve worked so hard to keep protected
From the nitty gritty
But no matter how hard I’ve tried not to be, I always end up being me
The nitty gritty

I can fake myself to be less of what I am
but their fear of the things that make me who I am
Is personally offensive
So to protect their world and my being
I stay away

The majority of people I will know for years
Yet always feel new around
And not in the good and exciting way
In the unfamiliar
Uncomfortable
Out of the loop
Out of place
Misunderstood
Sort of way

I realize that I am not misunderstood
As much as I misunderstand others
But in an artist space
there I can connect
Only in the real ones of course
Not the ones that urge you to be different for the sake of being different not because you Just are
Different

I am at my most comfortable around people who have trouble connecting
with those I connect with the most
We speak the same language

The common every day for me is a language barrier
A language I’ve tried to learn for what seems like my entire life
But the culture is what blocks me
The small talk and facades
How people limit themselves
How they refuse to ask the right questions
The real ones
The scary ones
The ones that cater most to helping and understanding the other
Rather than shielding the self from feeling
Feelings that could be controlled
Not all feelings should be accepted at face value

I’ve come to accept that my native tongue has been molded
Carved out and laid out to dry
That I do not wish to be part of the ordinary anymore
I can fake it, but to make it
In that world
would be losing in mine
Why learn the language when I’m not planning on living the culture?

 

 

 

Advertisements

5 Comments

  1. Pingback: Language Barrier — (a poetry share) | black|burgundy

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s