Children make you feel important. They love you because you exist. I digress. Happy children make you feel important, they love you because they love everything that surrounds them. They love you because you are somehow part of their world.
Happy children have a gift. They carry home everywhere they go in a way that happy adults never can. Most of us have to work for this happiness. It is something that we have to consciously do. It is an evolutionary process that we as adults have to constantly re-define our lives and the way we feel about our existence. Without these states of chaos we would be nowhere. If we are not growing we are dying. It is also extremely unhealthy to have a child-like naiveté as the backbone for your happiness. However, children are evolving whether they try to or not. Their happiness is effortless.
When I was a child, my narcissistic mother would ask me why I wasn’t jolly or why I didn’t hug anyone. How would I, as a 5-year-old, know the reason why I didn’t trust people? In a way I thank my mother for forcing me to wonder what I was doing on this earth from the moment I could open my eyes. She’s led me on a journey most of us are be too afraid to go on, yet we all need to make at some point. In that sense, you can say I have traveled the existential world. I seek out the dark, because it’s what I know, love and feels like home to me. I also had the time to understand interactions from an outside perspective as someone who was just learning about the world. I understand the importance of human contact and have taken the time to regain what I missed when I was powerless.
Up until lately I resented my parents for not respecting my childhood. However, this feeling came from two of my deepest fears. One, the fear that I might be like my mother one day and two, the fear that I will never get to know what a normal childhood feels like. I have recently found the solution to both of these fears and it is to learn from those who know how to be children. However strange it may sound, some children are extremely good at being young. They can and will take you with them.
Much like in a sci-fi scenario where when you touch someone with the gift of teleportation you too will be able to go where they go, not one fragment of the molecules that create you will be left behind. They will take everything that you are with them and lead the way. They remind you, or in my case, teach you, what it’s like to never have to think too hard.
When I have a child, foremost above beauty and intelligence, I will teach them to be happy. Happiness brings curiosity and individuality. Curiosity brings intelligence and individuality will give them beauty not found everywhere, as well as the right amount of fucks to give. The worst thing you can do to a child is to have them care too early or not care at all.
If your adult body is the vehicle for your childhood dreams then imagine the help you as an adult can give to those children whose childhood is slipping out from under their feet. There is no need to feel resentful. It’s a win-win situation.
To quote an episode of Steven Universe:
Boy passes by Politician dad kissing babies.
Boy: Man, he never kisses me like that.
Friend: That’s rough bro.
Boy: That’s not rough.The lack of daddy kisses in my life made me who I am.
Children are a gift. No question about that. I really enjoy my 3 year old…and have to constantly remind myself that he is a kid…when he does things I don’t approve of. Then I come to my senses and realize he is just a child and can be who he wants to be. Good Post!
Thank you for sharing! Because of my upbringing I never liked children even when I myself was one. But I am learning how much magic they hold just for being children.
Having a small child is truly a wondrous gift to have and it feels like a miracle when you see them expressing the happiness and love that you wish to know. Parents really need to maintain a good example of the happiness and individuality we wish to see in our children. A challenging journey filled with many rewards =)
That is very beautiful Astrid!
Funny how parents impact our idea of ourselves