Last night on my train ride home I rode in a train car where all of the seats were taken. I was exhausted and carrying a heavy bag. An older woman in her mid 50s stumbles in who appears to be partially blind. I wonder why no one is offering the seat when I realize that she is dressed nicely, wearing a wedding ring and carrying a prominent newspaper. That’s when it dawns on me; it is the same reason why some people offer their seats to children and mothers, but not to well of elders and pregnant women. As if children need to sit, when what they truly need is discipline.
We look for a while, we judge and then we conclude if this person deserves our kindness before we offer to be kind. As if we somehow dressed in gold that morning and concluded to be lady justice who stands in the middle of misfortune and luck deciding who to give more good fortune to.
To not love because you feel as if someone has been loved enough or to withhold kindness because they have been lucky in life, in your eyes is not a valid reason. As if we know the inner workings of their world. Is it that we do not have the capability to be kind or do we feel entitled to something more? Are some people trying to get back at life by showing those that seem to be better off what’s what by not contributing?
Common curtsey is not so common anymore, because of people like this; those of us who judge and weigh in before deciding if we want to be decent human beings or not; Those who don’t know the elementary of science and space to realize that the world does not revolve around them. Yes, some people are tired and do not have anything left in them. But why must we rank and judge before we are kind?
It is the same reason why many people play the part of the victim all the time. It is the same reason why they value weakness rather than strength. Those who can only be kind to the weak and regularly have struggles in which they vocalize constantly in order to benefit from the kindness of others. It is an endless cycle. It is weak hearted people like them that in the end create more weakness in the world.
It is the same reason why regardless of how insecure you might feel if you are gifted genetically as women many other women feel no need to compliment, but fish for compliments.
As if there is a debt that must be paid by the better looking minority for being born a certain way. As if those who have worked to be stronger do not deserve kindness.
Next time you want to offer a hand don’t think twice, just do it, because asking yourself if someone deserves your kindness all on its own just proves just how little you have in you, and how weak you really are.
So true. We need to really practice being kind to one another more frequently.
An interesting post! I agree with you that we should be kind as universally as possible and try not to judge whether people are “worthy” or “unworthy” of our kindness.
Perhaps we need to be equally kind and judgement-free to the people on the bus – maybe they had not deemed this person unworthy but simply hadn’t noticed or were lost in their own bad day or very tired themselves? I’m just curious – did you offer her your own seat? (I know you mentioned you were tired and had a heavy bag, which is why I ask)
I guess I need to examine myself and see if I am kind to all or only to whom I deem “worthy”. I really found this a thought-provoking post – thank you so much for sharing.
Hello, thank you for reading. I wasn’t sitting at the moment, but wondered why people can’t put their own feelings asside to help another. There must have been someone who’s day wasn’t going so bad if that’s the case. I feel like most are only kind when its in their favor or they are in the mood and feel that the receiver is worthy. Rarely when its out of their way. That’s when I think kindness matters most.
I think because I felt so exausted myself was the reason why I began to think of this.