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Niceness vs. Kindness


I am not nice. I am not a “nice” person. Who am I kidding? The origin of the word nice means, “Foolish, stupid, senseless, careless, clumsy; weak; poor, needy; simple, stupid, and silly.” I might be silly and sweet, but I am not “nice.” Lately I have been confusing the word kind with nice. In case you still don’t see the difference between those words I will elaborate on the dissimilarity between being a kind person and a nice person. Nice people are those who think that giving a fuck solely is a contribution to the world. Nice people are those who think they have done enough by caring, while a kind person actually tries to be the change they see in the world.

I never liked or trusted “nice,” people.  “Nice,” people are very well mannered; however do not know how to be considerate. Things happen to nice people all the time. A nice person lives their lives with things constantly happening to them. There is nothing that they are in control of other than their “manners.”  They are life’s bitch. A kind person chooses when to be nice. They have free will to know when in their gut they should actually give two shits. Nice people are stuck having to pretend that they care about everything all the while not doing much about anything.

A nice person can sometimes be kind, however a kind person can never, ever  be nice without driving themselves nuts. If a kind, warm hearted person were to give a damn about everything nice people pretend to give a damn about they would go completely bat shit crazy. Kind people are incapable of half/ass giving a damn. Kind people either give a shit or they don’t. Thus when a kind person tries being nice, it is automatic overload. Just as it is neurologically impossible for the human brain to know more than 150people at a time, it is impossible for anyone to care about everything. In life you have to choose whether what you care about and what you cannot give two shits about.

Lately I have been caring about everything… So much so that I no longer give a shit about, well…. shit. It is, because I gave so much importance to everything that I was unable to get anything done. Granted, for the past few weeks I have been trying to build a two story house with a box of toothpicks and a rock, but I thought I could get it done. Now, I know what you’re thinking, what idiot agrees to build a house with toothpicks and a rock. You know who does that, nice people. A kind person would kindly say, “Fuck, no, what are you crazy?”  But then again kind people like to push themselves, were as nice people like to blame everything around them. That is where I was mistaken. The fact that I was given a rock and a box of toothpicks to build a two story home should not have surprised me. I should have risen to the challenge and beat whoever tricked me into this challenge with the same rock that I was given to build the fucking house. But,  nooooo. I instead asked for, not even demanded (because nice people don’t demand for things) for justice. Never again will I not be true to myself in this way. Lesson learned. If I am given another chance I will move on as the kind hearted real person that I am. Not the nice person I was trying to be.  Only as a child is it ok to be nice, however as an adult a person should have developed the skills to be more than just polite. We develop the skills to know the circumstances to know when to be whom. Nice people who think they have a back bone just end up being snobby whinny a-holes.

Nice is a notion, while kindness is an action. When someone is kind everything that they say and do comes from their gut and from their heart. This entire time when the zoom kids and Barney (I didn’t have much cable growing up so channel 13 was all I had) told you to be yourself what they were really trying to say was. “Don’t be life’s bitch.” The way you become a fully independent person is by having every notion and word that comes out of your mouth be who you truly are. In order to do that one must not be afraid of the truth. One must be able to take who they are and change it if they are unhappy. Happiness takes work. Contempt can be nice.  But if in your quest for kindness you realize that you are a horrible human being, well, at least you know and have the brass balls to figure that one out. Whereas most nice adults will never know the truth about their being because they are so afraid of people not liking them or finding out that they are truly bad people. Or even worse some nice people do not search for kindness, because they might find out that they are truly… boring. Because let’s face it, nice can cover the fact that someone is boring as fuck. Kindness cannot do that, because kindness requires action and it requires you to be present constantly.

To be kind is to be attentive, thoughtful and considerate. Where to be nice is to be polite, fastidious and finicky. What would you rather be?


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  1. Pingback: The Power of Resting Bitch Face |

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